Do you feel unfulfilled in certain areas of your life? Are you dissatisfied with your career or had enough of what you don’t want? Are you looking for a breakthrough?
Regardless of your age, occupation or socio-economic status, there is probably at least one area of your life that you want to improve. The next question to ask: “How do I do it?”
You can start with the following seven steps to coach yourself to achieve your desired outcome:
1. Be specific
Do you know specifically what you want to achieve or do you just have a vague idea? Are you able to say it very clearly or do you have problems articulating it? There is a vast difference between saying “I want to increase my monthly income by 50 per cent” versus “I want to earn more money”. Challenge yourself to write down your desire in very specific terms.
2. Take charge
Do you accept total personal responsibility to achieve your targets? That means not blaming your environment or other people for being a problem or obstacle. If you are responsible, you have the power to change things. Next, assess your aptitude – do you have all the knowledge and skills required to achieve your desire, such as sufficient competency in each skill? Ensure that you are physically well equipped to achieve them.
3. Be honest
If change has not taken place or is not already in progress, then there is a chance that you might not really want it. You could be holding on to a secondary gain that makes you not to want to change or not take action to change.
A secondary gain is like a secret agenda. For eg, a person may avoid taking measures to improve his health so that he will continue to enjoy the attention of others.
4. Realign your values
I am not referring to ethical or moral values. Values here refer to what is important to you in that specific area of your life that you want to improve. Suppose you want to have greater success in your career – then you need to know the five most important things that will further your ambition.
Do your values support your desired outcome? If you want to increase your income, do you have “money” at the top of your list of career values? Your values naturally drive your performance and results. So realign them to support your goal.
5. Re-engineer your beliefs
What are your beliefs about what you want to achieve? If you have negative beliefs about your desire, a part of you wouldn’t want to achieve it. For eg, if you believe that being materialistic is bad, it will be difficult to be committed to earning more money.
What are your beliefs about yourself? Does your self image enable or disable you in your pursuit of your desire? Replace your negative self-beliefs such as “I am not good enough” or “I am not a good leader” with positive affirmation.
6. Let go of negativity
Do you have emotional baggage that is weighing you down? Every negative emotion or unresolved issue that you are holding on to takes your energy and focus away from creating the success that you desire.
Let go of negative emotions such as anger and guilt by forgiving others and yourself. With forgiveness comes freedom. In letting go you will not only become happier, but also achieve success more easily.
7. Reinforce your strengths
By the time you get to this step, you would have acquired a good level of mental congruency and emotional maturity to pursue your desire. However, the pursuit will not be a bed of roses – you will encounter thorns that will threaten to make you give up and turn back.
You will need to guard your mind from negative influences and protect your heart from emotional turbulence. Stay motivated and focused by surrounding yourself with empowering people, books and messages.
Straits Time Article by Jensen Siaw
7 points to note for myself. I have retyped out the full article to make myself remember the points and this will serve as a reminder to me.